Life is Beautiful!

to a new blog! Here is the link. Just thought i would try something new!
http://thecountrymom.wordpress.com/

Posted in: on Wednesday, July 27, 2011 at at 12:09 PM 0 comments  

Frankie is no longer with us. He was put to sleep on May 30th at 8:12pm

It happen so suddenly. Frankie was running around and playing with the other dogs on Friday and Saturday. It wasn't until Sunday that he was different. He was so lethargic. He had blood dripping from his penis. He hadn't peed all day. He wouldn't eat or drink water. And when he did drink water he would just throw it up. The crap he threw up ranged from a yellow/green color to a brown/reddish color. So he was throwing up his pee and blood. Frankie just seemed to get worse and worse. He barley had the energy to hold his head up. So Monday when we got back I called a few vets and finally Dr. McConnel said for us to meet him at the Gleenwood Vet Clinic, that he probably had a kidney stone stuck. Well he did. The stone was stuck. The vet could not get the catherter into his ballder. I can't even tell you home many times the vet tried to get the cath in, but the stone was to big. The stone had been lodged to long and it was causing his urine to back up into his kidneys, which caused his kidneys to fail. And because of this his nervous system was shutting down. It was so hard to watch. He was just laying there in pain, twitching uncontrollably. All the mean while I am sobbing telling Frankie that is ok. We are trying to help, to make him better and soon we would be going home. Well the Vet said it was too late after an hour of trying. He said that he could take a syring and drain the bladder and we could try to make it up to Woodbury to the emergency vet clinic but Frankie probably would survive. So Brad and I had to make the decision to put him down. He was in so much pain. I told him the it would be okay, that we would help him. So as he the vet administered the medication, I hugged him and kissed him and told him I was sorry, that I will see him again some day. And that I loved him and he was a great dog and I was lucky to have him. And afterwards, I was thinking that when he was looking at me in the car, it was like he knew. That he was telling me he was ready and that he loved me too.
We took him and burried him under the tree. We left him in his bed so he could be comfy up in heaven. I loved Frankie, he was my first baby. He was a great dog. He was just 6 years old. I got 6 wonderful years with Frankie. And I know he is up in doggie heaven playing with Oscar and I will see him again one day.

Posted in: on Tuesday, May 31, 2011 at at 12:47 PM 3 comments  

Yesterday I had a follow-up appointment with Susa. We talked about how the Provera went. I don't like the way it makes me feel. I made me feel tight in the chest and hard to breathe. Which I know I should've told Susa that earlier and not continue to take the drug, but I also knew that he would make be stop taking the Provera. So we discussed that and I was told if those symptoms happen again to call him or his nurse Kris right away. Still no period, but he said it could take up 7 days after I stop taking them to get it so I should have it by the 17Th. I honestly feel like I am the on the only woman on earth who is excited to get her period. Also, the Provera makes me have mood swings, nothing new :) But instead of the happy I get the sad and blah feeling a lot and the stupidest things make me crabby and/or sad. I don't feel like myself.

I am officially on a fertility drug. Clomid to be exact, 50 mg. It is an anti-estrogen pill. I tells my body that I don't have enough and to make extra of the hormone. The side effects are similar the Provera, there will be hot flashes and mood swings. And It ups the chances of multiples...7% for twins and less the 1% for triplets or higher. Brad and I only want to kids, but twins is better than no baby! I will take one pill day on days 5 through 9 of my cycle. Then for this first month I will go in on day 21 of my cycle to get a progesterone test taken to make sure that this drug made me ovulate. Susa wants me to do this for 3 months before we do any hormone testing and infertility testing, its expensive. He said that you really only have a 20% chance of getting pregnant every month. I'll take that, it is better than the 0% I was having with not ovulating.

That is all for now. I'll let you now how this goes and if I get my period!!!

Posted in: on Thursday, May 12, 2011 at at 7:48 AM 1 comments  

I am not entirely sure where to start. I guess I am going to start off by saying that this won't be the most up beat blog I have done and that I am mostly writing this for me. I read once that writing can be a great form of therapy. So I thought that I'd give it a try.

Brad and I have been trying to get pregnant for 8 months now and before that we were "if it happens, it happens" for I'd say 4 months. That means that it has been a year and I am not pregnant. Well, I was once, but miscarried. That was hard. I don't think I would wish that on my worst enemy. I wasn't very far a long, just far enough to know what was happening. It took us 7- 8 months to get pregnant with Sammie, so I wasn't expecting to get pregnant right away. Statistics show that something like only 25% of couple are pregnant within the first 3 months and the by 7 months 75% of couples are pregnant and that by a year 90% of couple are pregnant. Well hello.....why can't i be one of those statistics. Seriously, there are people out there that have kids and don't deserve them and people who are pregnant that don't even try. What was god thinking...I am ready and willing to have another child. To finish my family. Don't get me wrong...I love Brad and I Love and Adore Sammie like I never thought was possible. But I just feel like there is this tiny little puzzle piece missing from life.

I would say since January my periods have been what you call RIDICULOUS. They come and go as the please. At the begining I was having my period right on schedule and then 2011 comes and I have two periods a month and now in March I was 10 days late, but not pregnant. I got my hopes up so high that month when I was 5 days late, but then I took the pregnancy test...negative. You have to be freaking kidding me. Then it came and I have always kept track of my ovulating schedule to increase our chances. And in April I was so anal about it....We did it every other day for 3 weeks. Then period time came....2 days late no period.... 7 days late no period. I took a pregnancy test...negative. 10 days late...I call Dr. Susa and he told to me try to wait it out a little longer. More than likely it would come, just like last month. But last month At least I started spotting at 7 days. It was what Dr.Susa likes to call overflow. But this month no spotting. Since he told me to wait it out, I waited it out till we got back from the Dells. I didn't think about it once, not once. It was so nice not to focus on it...to relax and enjoy the family. I got back on Tuesday and I called Dr. Susa yesterday (by this point I am 18 days late) and he asked if I took another pregnancy test. Of course I did, i took one that morning...negative. So he prescribed my Provera to make me ovulate to get my period. And once I get my period I am to go in and we will discuss my options further and to some tests.

My options...are you fucking kidding me. I opt to be pregnant please. I want to complete my family. I want to have another baby. Susa said that I may need to be put in fertility drugs, but we won't know for certain till we do some test. And even though he put my on Provera that is no guarantee that I will get my period and ovulate. What the hell. If something is wrong and I can't have kids or we are going to struggle to have kids...what next. I am fine adopting, but we can't afford that now. It would be a couple more years and by then Sammie will be between 4 and 5.

Life sucks sometimes. I know that god has a plan for me, but sometimes it is hard to know what it is. Why will he let people who shouldn't have kids, have them. What plan is that? Why not me? Please answer me that. I don't feel like a bad mom. Is there something that I am missing?

Posted in: on Thursday, May 5, 2011 at at 10:05 AM 3 comments  

I did it! I asked for a raise and I got it! I am so proud of myself. It is scary going to your boss and asking for a raise, especially now when the economy isn't doing the greatest. But I did it! YAH ME! And it was way more than I thought it would be!

Posted in: on Tuesday, September 21, 2010 at at 1:04 PM 3 comments  

Yesterday on my way to work I followed a semi on to the freeway and the name of the company was "Mason Dixon"! How wierd is that. I have never seen that truck before and now with talks of trying again soon all of a sudden there it is. Our second child is going to be a boy for sure now. That was totally a sign!

* in case this is confusing Mason Dixon Spence is one of the boy names we both really, really like!

Posted in: on Friday, September 17, 2010 at at 10:33 AM 3 comments  

I finally got to go to "Monday Night"! It felt so good seeing these people! These girls and boys are like sisters and brothers to me and I love them oh so very much! I just wanted to let them all know that!

Posted in: on Tuesday, September 14, 2010 at at 1:00 PM 3 comments  

Sammmie almost always gets a bath on Sunday night. She likes to start the week out smelling all fresh and clean, okay so I like her starting the week out all fresh and clean! Last night she was the cutest thing ever. She loves her baths! But last night she was crawling aroung and splashing and sucking the water out the washcloth.



okay, I admit the last one is a litte wierd, but she pulls of wired so good. And she is teething so it probably felt good on her gums!



I took some pictures and i didn't want them on Facebook, so I am blogging the pics instead!

isn't the baby butt crack cute!!!

Posted in: on Monday, September 13, 2010 at at 10:53 AM 3 comments  

It was wonderful. Everything we needed and more. It was so nice to not have worry about Sammie, as much as I love her, it was nice. We did up going to Vino in the Valley and what a gorgeous night to go....GORGEOUS! It wasn't as chilly as I thought it would be, until you actually went and walked the vineyard, then it was a little chilly. We drank a whole bottle of their house wine, ate, had great conversation, then walked the vineyard. It was defiently very benefical for us to have the date night!

Posted in: on at at 10:43 AM 0 comments  

Posted in: on Friday, September 10, 2010 at at 12:46 PM 0 comments  

Brad and I finally get a date night!! WHO HOO!! You really have no idea how much we need this and how much I am looking forward to this! Our relationship needs this....

We are going to Vino in the Valley(http://vinointhevalley.com/). I am so excited. I have been waiting all summer to go here! I went last year with some girls from work and LOVED it! Unfortunalty I didn't get to enjoy any wine because I was pregnant. But you bet your fanny, I will this year! It is the most amazing place...I would choose this over any resturant and day.

Just a shoot out to my mom for watching Sammie and keeping her overnight for us! Thanks mom, Love you lots!

Posted in: on at at 10:37 AM 1 comments  

I woke up this morning to it being 64 degrees in my house... Why you might ask? Because we don't want to turn the heat on and waist precious fuel and Brad wasn't around for me to ask if we could start the wood stove up yet. So in esence I am saying....I guess it is my fault! ;) What is a girl to do!
PS: No worrys though...I put a heater in Sammie Girls room, so when I went in there this morning it was nice and toasty warm!

Toasty.....toasty marshmellows! I wish I was under a toasty blanket with a cup of hot and toasty apple cider! mmmmmm

Anywho! I think we need to chop a lot more wood if I am going to stay toasty warm all winter long!

Posted in: on Wednesday, September 8, 2010 at at 1:13 PM 2 comments  

I am so glad you are back! You make a fall day perfect! And because it is September, in my mind it is fall!

Posted in: on Thursday, September 2, 2010 at at 1:12 PM 1 comments  

It is September 1st...what a great day! Summer is finally over. I have never been a huge fan of summer. It is just to hot and sticky. I like fall and winter, much more my thing. Plus I like wearing all those nice thick cozy sweaters and all my flannel!

Sammie first...she is the most amazing thing ever. 7 months old and she is crawling(quite fast), standing and walking when she holds on to furniture. Just yesterday she crawled up the steps. I have never been more proud! Sometimes I think to myself "Sammie girl, don't grow up to fast, take your time and enjoy everything that life has to ofer you. You are amazing now and you will do amazing things later on in life" I could jsut eat her up when I stick her in little jeans. Those have to be one of the cutest things. I hate that I only get 4 hours a day with her. That is just not enough. I'm not sure if I'd want to be a stay at home mom, but part-time, just so I could spend more time with her.

Life has been interesting to say the least. So much going on in Brad and mine's life. I wish it would all slow down. We never get to see eachother. 4 hours a week if we are luckly. He is working 3 jobs, and people say it is hard to find a job, plus he has to cut wood for the winter and get pumpkins ready now. I feel bad for him, but I know he is doing it for his family. We finnally sat down and had a talk about everything. I really needed it. I feel so much better now.

Madison is growing up to be a stickin cutie! She just lights up when I walk in the room. She is such a lovable little thing and so mellow. Megan doesn't know how lucky she is.

Brad and I will be going to Vino in the Valley on the 11th. I am SOOOO excited for that! I have wanted to go all summer long and we couldn't work out a time to go! YAH....this is why I love fall. The vineyards will be gorgeous and I can drink all the wine I want!

That's all for now!

Posted in: on Wednesday, September 1, 2010 at at 1:11 PM 1 comments  

Lately I have been totally addicted to this ladies blog! She just seems like such an interesting person and lives a fascinating life, yet down to earth at the same time!

Just wanted to tell ya to check it out! The link to her blog is on the left side of my blog!

Posted in: on Friday, August 13, 2010 at at 7:25 AM 3 comments  

First I want to start out by saying that I have the most hard-working, love-his-family, wants nothing but the best for his family, husband. And I appreciate him more than he will ever know and feel like I am the luckiest woman to have him!

This past week I have just felt so overwhelmed. I just don't know what to do. With Brad working like 20 jobs (it's actually only 3, not including the ones he doesn't get a pay stub for). I am always home with Sammie, doing everything around the house, and I am always be myself. I get done with work, rush home to get Sammie, get her settled in, let the dogs out, feed the dogs...and then if she is still content: I wash the bottles, make the bottles, do laundry, make dinner, run the dishwasher, unload the dishwasher, put the clothes in the dryer, feed Sammie. Don't let Sammie take a nap to make sure she sleeps through the night (which doesn't always work) keep her occupied, fold the laundry, take care of Sammie because it is finally 8:00, so she can sleep now and eat her last bottle, hopefully put her done for bed so I can at least talk to my husband that day, go to the bathroom and it the sack because I usually have to get up with her around 5:30 to do it all again the next day.
Normally this doesn't bother me, but I see Brad for like 3 hours a week. He gets up at 5:00 goes to Reigstads, then he goes to his 2nd job till 9 or 10, then gets home a works on the side jobs that people have asked him to do and he always says yes because the money is nice. I NEVER see my husband. I miss him so much just writing this is making me teary eyed. I just wish we would win a butt load of money so he wouldn't have to work so much. Did you know that he is currently working 4 jobs right now. Luckily he doesn't work for the school during the summer. Plus on top of those jobs he is getting wood and pumpkins ready for the fall to bring in some extra money. I have NEVER known a person to be this dedicated to his family. It just breaks my heart that I never get to see him and the he has to work this hard. We had a hard time carving out some time to spend together for our anniversary that is next week. Sad. I just appreciate him so, so much.
I feel like we are taking on the world and it just keep throwing more crap at us. Did I mention the he had to fix the radiator on his truck. Did that work...of course not, now we have to scrap up the money so we can fix his motor...AHHHHH It is always something...
I feel better now that I wrote this though...just a little though...

Posted in: on Wednesday, June 9, 2010 at at 10:36 AM 1 comments  

My first mother's day was wonderful. Brad got me flowers and a card. we went out with my family for brunch and his family for dinner. But the best part was getting to take a nap! Oh was the heaven!

Saturday I put in overtime at work. I figured I might as well as long as I can. Lord knows we could use the money! So I was so tired from staying up late Friday night and then working again on Saturday that I wasn't able to make it to Josh and Lynsie's for game night. I really wanted to go, I love hanging out with my friends! But I didn't want to push myself to far, you know.

Friday was the Taylor Swift concert and it ROCKED! I want to go to another so bad. We didn't have floor seats but that was okay because the concert was totally awesome anyways! Gloriana and Kellie Pickler opened for Taylor and they were awesome. The whole thing was awesome! Thanks mom for being able to score those tickets! Love you lots! :)

So I finally got fed up with the last 10 lbs I have to lose and not having an close to wear so I started weight watchers online a week ago. It is actually going great. I thought it would be hard but it isn't. Plus I get bonus points to use for the week for whatever I want! They believe in treating yourself! I like that motto! I have my first weigh in tomorrow, so we will see how that goes! It isn't actually a weight...I just go down to receiving and weigh myself! I don't feel deprived from food at all and I always get full. Brad is being really supportive of me so I think that makes it easier for me. He always checks the box for me and makes sure I get the right portion so I don't go over my point for the day. Then when I get this down, I am going to start exercising and Brad said he would do that with me to. I didn't want to overwhelm myself by making myself to do much at once. I know I would just give up on it all that way. So step by step.

Sammie is so fricking adorable it isn't even funny. She talks non stop to anyone who will listen! She even has to take a break from eating to talk. It so cute! Yesterday at appleebee's all the waitresses came over to tell us how cute she was and then 2 other families stop by the table to tell me and Brad that if we ever wanted to give her up they would take her! she is just so cute!

Posted in: on Monday, May 10, 2010 at at 1:07 PM 0 comments  

Now that I am back to work I can start blogging on a regular basis! (please hold you applause!)

So what's new with me...lots! I am back to work now, have been for 2 1/2 weeks now. Boy, was that first week rough and I mean rough. I was emotionally exhausted from crying and missing Sammie. Physically exhausted because I wasn't used to doing much through out the day other than taking care of Sammie and when she napped I had the option to take a nap. I wasn't used to getting up and the same time everyday anymore and boy did that time get early. Not only did I change my schedule to be done earlier, I had to plan extra time in the morning for Sammie just in case she needed to be feed or just wanted to be held. Going back to work was a huge change in my life. But all in all I am glad to be back to work. I think it makes it easier knowing she isn't at a daycare facility, that she is just with our neighbor Renee 3 days a week, with Brad 1, and with Pam 1 day.

I found out last week that we can put in overtime, so I am torn between the extra money(which we can definitely use) and rushing home to Sammie. I have been putting in around 5 hours a week of overtime. Every little bit helps.

Sammie is adjusting well to being at Renee's. She loves her little girl Aubrey! I almost think it was more rough on me than her! The first week she would be awake all day, heaven forbid she miss out on anything, so she would sleep all night from the time I got home till the time I got her up the next day, except to eat!

This week for mother's day, mom and I are getting our pedicures on Thursday. Then Friday Megan and I get to go to Taylor Swift concert. YAHHHHH! I am so ridiculously excited! Plus we get free parking at Brad's work! Bonus!

That's all for now. My breaks is over. But don't worry I have lots more to catch you up on!

Posted in: on Tuesday, May 4, 2010 at at 1:22 PM 4 comments  

I know that it has been over a month since I wrote a blog, but to be fair I did just have a baby! So being a mommy is the best thing ever! I knew that I was ready to be a mom and have kids but I never thought I could love anyone this way. It is a different kind of love for what I have for Brad, I can't really explain it. Samantha is the most amazing little person every. She has such a personality, she has had it from birth. She hardly ever fusses and is smiling and making the weirdest faces. She likes to sleep with her arms up over her head, which I thought was weird but I woke up the other night sleeping the same way she does.
It was a little hard for me the first day Brad went back to work last Wednesday. I called him crying because I couldn't do it by myself. Which of course I can! I think I was just overwhelmed and extremely tired.
She has sleeps really well at night. She goes to bed between 8 and 10 and sleeps for four hours at a time. We really only get up with her once at night and then again around 5. So not bad for a newborn, eh.
My first outing with her by myself was a little scary. She had an appointment at 9:50 and I wanted to leave the house at 9:15 but as soon as I put her in her car seat she started crying. Which of course broke my heart. Needless to say we didn't leave until 9:30. She did really good. I did really good!
She can sleep through anything...the dogs barking, loud noises, being passed around from person to person. She really is an incredible baby.
Brad has been an amazing father and husband. I couldn't imagine going through any of this without him.

What else... I really miss my friends. I mean really, really, really miss them. It is like not seeing my family. I find myself reading their blogs and facebooks and find all these things going on in their lives that I no idea.

Some days I go stir crazy from being inside all day. But I really don't have anywhere to go.

Posted in: on Thursday, February 18, 2010 at at 3:27 PM 1 comments  

It seems like a lot people are talking about what happened last year and what they hope will happen in the coming year. Everybody is talking mostly about the bad that happened last year...what is the deal with that. Does no one have anything good or positive to say anymore. It is getting a little sickening hearing about all the negative if you ask me. I would think that out of 365 days that most had to be good...lets see...you had your health, happiness and if you made it through the year with a job and didn't loose your house or your car and you managed to get by with paying all you bills and could say you did it all on your own, I would say that classifies as a good year.

As for me I had a great year. Brad and I are happy and healthy. We both managed to get by with out getting the flu! (knock on wood) We both managed to hang on to our jobs and pay our bills without asking for any help, even though Brad went down to 32 hours a week. We managed to put away a little money in our savings. Didn't get to take a trip any where, but that is okay. We still had fun being home with family and friends. After all it is all those little moments that make life great right!

And all I can ask for in 2010 is for all those same things again! I am hopping for happiness and health for us and that we both keep our jobs! And that we can have many, many, many more of those little moments that make up life!

Posted in: on Wednesday, January 6, 2010 at at 1:12 PM 4 comments